Knock Knock Jokes

As a preschool teacher I love to encourage laughter and silliness as well as manners around the lunch table. During yesterdays lunch one of my tiny friends began telling knock knock jokes. It started innocently enough and everyone got in on the action. Finally, we had the joke of the day.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Poo.
Poo who?
Poo in your shoes!

At this point I begin to laugh, I in fact was laughing so hard that I forgot to remind my little amigo that we do not use potty words outside the bathroom!

Oh, the joys!

Tattoos.

As many of you know, I work in preschool. My lovely little friends LOVE temporary tattoos. Each Monday they come in sporting the latest in temporary ink and brag about how they got said tattoo. "I got mine at a birthday party" "I got mine at a parade"....where may you ask does this all lead........

I was shopping Borders 2 weeks ago since it's closing, the books are ridiculously cheap and I <3 reading! I came a cross a book that said tattoos on it. I opened it up and saw temporary tattoos. Flowers, hearts, a dragon. They looked awesome, and I thought "Perfect reward system incentive!" The cashier rang them up and said "Have fun with those..." to which I replied "Oh, I intend too" I didn't think anything of it until I got home and went to pack them in my satchel for work. That's when I discovered.... THEY ARE EROTIC TATTOOS!

I should have looked closer at the temporary tattoos and the fine print. Now what's a girl to do. Also, it makes what I said back to the cashier SO MUCH FUNNIER! Hope you had a good laugh!

Dang Girl! Where you been?

I know I don't post for months and then promise to post again. Well, I am going to try and make a better effort with this thing. I have some funny stuff to share. But first, I feel as though we should get caught up. So, here's what I have been doing the past few months!

March- Who can remember?! I worked a lot at my job. That's about all. This is also when Dave and I started working up at the cabin for the wedding of his sister Ann and her new husband Weston.

April- Celebrated my girl Meghann's birthday with a wild weekend in Saint Cloud. I managed to make it back to her house in one piece! Good times.
We also hosted another wonderful Easter, too much food, too many laughs and lots of family love!

May- We threw our annual Cinco de Mayo party. So much food! Lots of tequila and laughs! I also hosted a bridal shower for my sister in law. It was a low key affair almost derailed by severe weather. I made enough food for 40 people and as I was setting up tornadoes and hail were pelting Anoka county. The kind weather people were advising people not to travel to Blaine. Not cool Sven. Not cool.

June- Brings us to the Bachelorette party. No strippers but there were many inflatable items including a bounce house. Awesome! We also made the pilgrimage to Michigan for the Hell'uva Good 400. This year marked the 10th year for my cousin Emily and I. Pretty impressive!

July- We celebrated Sunday Funday in the midst of final preperations for the wedding the next weekend. My crew and I saw Transformers 3 and snuck in some McDoubles! We floated and prepped. Good times.
Then came the wedding.....it was a beautiful day shared by many people and created a new family branch within my own family. Congrats kids. The week after my ginger twin and I did a double header for the Twins. It was only 110 degrees outside that day but we sweated through and had a GREAT time!

Which leaves us with August! We ventured off to RoBe Doe again. For those of you who don't know the magic of RoBeDo, its an annual camping trip that includes about 80 people. I will blog more on this later. Amazing times with fantastic friends!

August also means that we celebrated 4 wonderful years of marriage! While is hasn't always been easy, we love each other everyday.

I hope this all leaves you feeling caught up. On to another day! Melissa

I love this dog.

How do you resist this face?

Everybody's working for the weekend! Now I am too.

After graduating in December, I found myself in the same position as many Americans. 9% of Americans including myself are unemployed. We are jobless. We have no source of income. Its a shitty situation and the reality of today's economy. I have searched high and low. I have been to job sites I have never heard of. Sites like www.indeed.com, www.usajobs.com and www.minnesotaworkforce.com. I have written my name first, last, and maiden so many times I could scream. I am over qualified for many, not qualified enough for some (yes, I did in fact apply for the Dean of Education position at Brown College) and simply don't have the experience for others.

Well, this is simply not the case anymore. I am no longer a statistic. I am no longer one of the 9%. I am now once again among the working class. As of Monday, I am returning to my roots as a preschool teacher. I am now the lead teacher in the Pre 3 classroom.

My Dog Fergus

Fergus is MY dog. My very first, all on my own, dog. I had dogs and other pets growing up, but they were always family pets, never just mine.

Dave and I had been married about 6 months when we started kicking around the idea of getting another dog. That way our older dog could help train the new dog. We thought of getting a different breed than the one we had. We were the proud owners of a beautiful golden retriever. Dave and I had successfully bred our dog Tork the summer before. There was such a positive response from the friends of the owners of those puppies that we were also thinking of breeding Tork again. My only stipulation was if we bred Tork then I wanted to keep one of the puppies. After that discussion and the countless inquires as to when we were breeding Tork again we decided to go for it. Using the same sire as the last litter, Tork was successfully pregnant within weeks! I nursed Tork, (the mother) through this pregnancy. I stayed up all night, first at the emergency vet and then in her whelping box, helping if needed to deliver the puppies. When they were ready I taught the litter to sit, how to go outside, and how to come. I carefully watched each of the puppies to see which one I would choose to be my very own. I knew going in to this big venture that I wanted a big cuddly puppy. Dave said he wanted a male. So, we were on the lookout for our big cuddly male.

After a while 2 presented themselves as possible matches for the criteria. There was only one real factor I was looking for. Each day when I went to play with the puppies' one always came to see me right away. A male. A big male. A big cuddly male. All my criteria were met. I had found my Fergus. I put a bright red collar on him to keep him safe and all mine.

I got the name Fergus from a book that I used to read to the preschool class I was teaching at the time. It was about a little white dog with a big white collar. The book Fergus loved to get in to trouble and something about the dog in the book reminded me about the potential for trouble that MY Fergus would be in soon enough. I loved the name because it was unique and I didn't know any other dogs with that name.

 

Fergus at about 5 months!

Fergus Fun Facts:

Fergus is 2 and ½ years old.

His loves include: chewing on bones, snuggling and humping the ones he cares most for.

Tricks: he can play hide and go seek, fetch and give high fives and we are currently working on some new ones.

 

Fergus is my constant companion. He is the bright spot in my day and he loves to give kisses. I tell him all my secrets and he never judges me.

You are probably asking yourself "why the hell am I reading this stupidly long post about a dog?" Here's the explanation. Recently, I have gotten a lot of grief from friends about my picture posts on Facebook about Fergus. I apparently post too many pictures about him. People are "overwhelmed" by them. I thought I would let the world know about Fergus and hopefully see why I love him so much. Really though, if you don't like it, un-friend me. I put up with the pictures and post about your kids and how life is screwing you over constantly. So, you can deal mine about my dog.

 

 

 

Sorry for being a shitty blogger.

So many of my followers I don't see on a regular basis. And some may just be lurking there, not saying anything at all. I do that too. Don't feel ashamed. Embrace your inner creeper. Until it becomes a problem with the law.

On that note, sorry for being a shitty blogger. Life has gotten the better of me and I currently do not have internet at home. That makes it tough.


So here's what I have been up too. Well, I have been student teaching, first at Johnsville Elementary. Johnsville, what an adventure. I am not sure how it happens everyday. But sometimes I find myself in the most ridiculous situations. Ask me about Kevin and his nuts later! ha ha ha. Johnsville was great. I loved the working enviroment and it was satisfying at the end of everyday to have the students beable to retell what I had taught them! I feel like I made great progress with the students and my cooperating teacher loved having me there! Next up, it was on to Blaine High School.

Blaine High School was amazing. I adored high school. So very much. I got to teach history and prealgebra. I am currently a prealgebra whiz....all the way through chapter 3. I felt like I was able to grow so much more at Blaine, simply because I didnt have the experience with the older kids. I miss them daily.

So, I graduated. Finally. December 17th, at 7pm. I walked across the stage and accecpted my diploma from Jay Barnes. There is nothing stopping me know. Oh, wait. Yes, there is. No job. Blergh!